Maddening Mondays

Dealing with a breakup is really hard. Dealing with a breakup, when that person is someone that you love with your whole heart, your best friend, the person that you talk to about everything, well that's just impossible. Trust me, I would know. I just, I get so confused and frustrated. I don't understand why, and I always think what could I have done differently. As much as that happens though, the thing I think the most is that I miss him. So much. Life is so strange and absurd and lonely without him. I just wish I knew what to do.. I try to keep busy and not think about it, but it seems like that's when I think the most about it. I'll go to work and think "oh, good. I'll be so busy I won't think. ", but then that's all I think about... Life really sucks. Even when we do talk, it's not the same.. He's closed off mostly, and I feel so helpless and sad. I don't like these feelings.. I wish I could turn back time... 10 months together, and all of a sudden I don't have him to talk to and to be there and it kills me. I miss him, so much.... Gah.